Yes, twas a dream.

Here’s a dream that I had last night. I’ve changed the character names to keep them faceless.

1 - I think it was St. Patrick’s Day or at least all my stuff was green.  Everyone was also wearing some sort of green apparel.  My locker was full of green mugs, a green flannel, and a back pack.  Even though this place was carpeted, the room contained benches similar to those in changing rooms, and had a laundry sink.  I’m assuming that it was originally a gym locker room that was transformed into a hallway.  When entering the room via the cafeteria, my locker was located on the left side, third locker in. My friend, Kim, had her locker stationed on the right side two lockers away from that laundry sink (I think that she appeared in this dream because, yesterday, I was having lunch with my grandparents showed them some pictures from my GAP year. Kim was in a few of those pictures).

2 - After everyone had put their belongings in their respective lockers, the scene shifted outside.  The entire class was taken to a really, really beautiful grassy field with a giant sycamore tree located in the center.  The sun was blazing so bright; she should have had our sunglasses on.  Oh, I forgot to say, there was one more person that I was able to distinguish in my dream: Ray (I’m almost sure that he made an appearance because he called me yesterday asking me for a cure for his itchy tongue).  He was roughly the same size as me and the same build too.  The teacher instructed us to choose a partner of the same sex, size and strength; so, naturally I chose to pair up with Ray. We were then told to get into two long lines, one partner on each side, and to line up across each other. Each pair was assigned a number which, when called by the instructor, indicated that the designated pair had to play the game. Kim was also on the field but was located much further down the line. I tried to get her attention but she just looked blankly as if she didn’t see me jumping and waving my arms.

Anyways, Here’s how the game worked (it does not make much sense now that I think about it):  when a number was called, the assigned pair would take three steps back while counting to three; then, on three, they would charge at each other then start wrestling the other to the ground.  Maybe it was some sort of Spartan training plan. I have no idear.  When my number was called, Ray and I got into a very lengthy match that began drawing the attention of the rest of the class. Eventually, the teacher broke us up because we were taking too long and he wanted to give other students a chance to scrap (I don’t really understand why pairs couldn’t fight simultaneously. Maybe the teacher only wanted to deal with one pair just in case someone actually got hurt).  Once our fight was brought to a halt, the scene shifted to a really small yoga class.

3 - The room was very dark and yet one able to see most of it because of the light produced by some tiny torches that were lodged into the walls.  There were yoga mats lined up against the walls: the area for one’s head faced toward the wall while the area for one’s toes faced the center.   By this time, the class really shrunk; the amount of students probably reduced from 50 outside to 10 in this room.  Kim was also in this scene yet she still didn’t realize who I was.  This activity was run by a guy that looked quite evil.  He had these mini horns, lacked a shirt and had the legs of a goat (I’m guessing that this creature was seen in my dream because last night I was reading “The Horse and His Boy;” they just introduced Mr. Tumnus; additionally, I think his evil characteristic came from a recent discussion I had with my mom about spirits). He was also equipped with an insincere grin and was really overweight and sweaty.  The game that we played also did not make much sense to me. Here’s how it was played. Everyone was lined up standing with their heels against the base of their respective yoga mats. When the faun shouted, we’d all fall with our backs onto the mats. While lying down, he would yell out something else and we all had to, in one swift motion, shift our bodies in such a way that we were still kind of lying down but it would prepare us to jump back up (it’s hard to imagine but I know you can do it!).  It was really hard to keep this position yet we were told to hold it while the faun’s minions placed screen doors on us (I have no idea as to what the purpose was but I was playing this game a couple of days ago, called “Plants vs. Zombies,” and one type of zombie walks with a screen door in front of him).  After every student received their own screen, the teacher would yell once more and we had to lunge ourselves back to the starting position.  Most students weren’t able to bring themselves back to the standing position so that teacher gave up and told us that he was ending class.

1 – We returned back to the original hallway, with the lockers and the carpeted floor, yet this time it was populated by a younger grade.  Kim and her friends were still at their lockers yet they soon left to go outside.  As they were heading out, I told myself to go and say hi but I was paralyzed by fear. Since she did not acknowledge me in the first two classes, I assumed one of two things: that she didn’t actually know me or that she was actually mad at me.  I sat on one of the benches in that locker room and waited until everyone cleared out.

 Then I woke up. Gah!

Abraham son of Terah and Isaac son of Abraham

            I have undergone a lot of recent experiences which have kind of pointed me to the story of Abraham and Isaac. The story has been brought up a few times in recent conversations I’ve had with people and I have also been reminded of the biblical tale through the scripture passages that I’ve been reading.  In this entry, I will deal with the notions of trust and faith found in the story of Abraham and Isaac.

Last summer I enrolled in an existentialism class. During the course, we studied a theistic philosopher by the name of Soren Kierkegaard.  Kierkegaard was a Christian who utilized the Abraham and Isaac episode to help explain his concept of faith. 

            Before defining what faith is, it is helpful to understand Kierkegaard’s notion of the tragic hero.  The tragic hero is one who sacrifices or gives up their current ethical duty in order to express a higher ethical/universal duty (for the nation or community etc.). He uses the example of Agamemnon and the Trojan War: the deity demands to receive a young girl as a sacrifice in order for the army of Greece to be able to sail to Troy.  In order to appease the deity, Agamemnon sacrifices his daughter to the goddess for the sake of the nation.  In this case, Agamemnon is a tragic hero because he is gives up his ethical duty (to love and protect his daughter) in exchange for performing higher moral action within the ethical (to love and protect his nation).  His actions are understandable and can even be considered admirable.

            Here’s the gist of Abraham’s story:   God promises that he will establish his covenant through Isaac (Gen 17:19). God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac (Gen 22:2).

According to society, Abraham’s highest expression of the ethical is to love Isaac.  Abraham’s actions differ from the Agamemnon’s case because his actions cannot be understood nor can his actions be considered admirable by the public eye: he is giving up his ethical duty in order to do something that has no benefit to others or his son.  

God asks for Isaac as an offering to test Abraham’s faith. Abraham carries out his actions, “for God’s sake and for his own sake. He does it for God’s sake because God demands this proof of his faith; he does it for his own sake so that he can prove it” (Fear and Trembling).  Kierkegaard defines faith as “precisely the paradox that the single individual as the single individual is higher than the universal (ethical), is justified before it, not as inferior to it but as superior” (Fear and Trembling).  The individual (Abraham) is made higher than the universal (as he enters into a relationship with God) and cannot be understood by anyone within the universal.  Those within the universal are given the choices to either deem Abraham as a man of faith or a madman.  To be able to display his faith, Abraham is required to take action; he must sacrifice Isaac to confirm his faith through obedience to God. 

In the same way, faith requires an action from the believer in order to display one’s faith and to prove their trust in God.  During the time of Joshua, God promised to give the people of Israel a land for themselves.  It was only when the people followed God’s instructions to take possession of the land that they were able to obtain it.  Initially the land was occupied by many peoples but the Lord gave these cities and nations into the hands of the Israelites: “Thus the Lord gave to Israel all the land that he swore to give to their fathers. And they took possession of it, and they settled there. And the Lord gave them rest on every side just as he had sworn to their gathers. Not one of all their enemies had withstood them, for the Lord had given all their enemies into their hands. Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.”

Lately I really feel that God’s been requesting me to place my Isaac on the altar.  I have no idea whether Isaac will be returned to me at sometime in the future but, for the time being, I will offer him up to the Lord because he belongs to him.  Like Abraham, my choice to give over Isaac has not been understood by the people who have heard my story because it does not bring any benefits to me or the universal.  I feel that this is the right thing to do because it seems that God is asking for a proof of my faith; he is asking me to choose for him over the universal and myself.  

And PTL! I just found out that my broganoff got accepted into MSU!

Good night! 

Hey Reader!

I'm now back in Vancouver due to an unexpected turn of events. My Lansing GAP year internship was cut short because of my hospitalization in January and some complications with my insurance coverage (I shall explain that tale in some upcoming post).  Now I've been continuing my GAP year in Vancouver and working for both UCO Vancouver and UCO Burnaby and some jobs here and there for Families for Christ Community.
A couple of weeks ago, Vancouver's mission leader asked me to organize a men's event (which was executed tonight) so I planned to put to use some of my cooking experience gained back in Lansing.  This evening, I had the men over at my house for dinner and a discussion.  It was such a great time for me to re-connect with the brothers back home and to hear how the Lord was working in each of their lives. Our discussion topic for the evening was: "How have I experienced the Lord's love recently?"
Here's a summary of my sharing: I shared about experiencing the love of the Lord through brothers and sisters who visited me in the hospital during my time at Sparrow.  I was hospitalized right before the Kairos Winter Conference (a huge conference held in Columbus Ohio for all the UCOs and SPOs of North America) where I was expecting to serve.  Missing out on that conference also meant being unable to see my friends from Vancouver, other chapters and being unable to lead a small group and serve on the music team.  I was  frustrated when I was stripped of all these opportunities and was told that I would have to stay in the hospital for a week.  Flipping through the channels at the hospital, I came across this documentary on the devil which included a section on the story of Job.  I really felt as though the Lord was talking to me through the story of Job's life.  Mr. Job was a righteous man who feared and followed the Lord despite all the trials he experienced. God allowed Mr. Job to be stripped of everything: his children and all his possessions. God even allowed the devil to cover Job in sores yet Job did not curse the Lord.  This story placed a calling on my heart to remain faithful to the Lord through both the good times and bad. During my time in the hospital, the Lord changed my first day of frustration into a period of resting in the him and i felt as though I was given a protected time to spend with him. Throughout this whole incident, the Lord really gave me a lot of grace to be at peace. The doctors told me that my condition was really serious and that it could have actually taken my life if it was any worse. Through the Lord's protection, I didn't worry at all knowing that he was with me and taking care of me. I really experienced God's love through all the friends and community members who came to visit me and prayed over me.  I really felt accepted as part of the community there and could say the I genuinely experienced Christ's love through the quality time that these people spent with me. I want to thank all those who came to see me and keep me company. You're the best!  Praise God for also blessing me with the opportunity to see my father.  My dad was able to take some time off work to be with me in the hospital.  I was really touched by the effort he made to comfort me and support me through the trial.  It was awesome to have him visit for the week to meet my friends, the community, and experience living with the Servants at Weber.
Now that I'm here in Vancouver, the Lord's given me a few signs to confirm to me that I'm meant to be back here. Once again, this story shall be saved for a future post.

Good Night! Dream Big!
-Mamonluk